Update

Sorry I haven't been very bloggy lately. Life gets in the way and I barely have time to breathe, especially with the exercise and cooking. So I got the PX90 program and started yesterday. Honestly, best workout I've had yet. It also tells you exactly what to eat, which is great.
I never knew that protein could give me such an energy boost. But the biggest energy boost of all was today when I came into rehearsal and a girl says to me "Wow, it looks like you've lost a lot of weight." That honestly kept me going through the whole day and I just did a 45 minute Cardio work-out. My face is red, I'm sweating balls, my feet hurt, and I'm loving every second of it. I didn't rest a minute with that workout and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I have to admit, I'm not following the diet perfectly. If I'm not going to completely give up, I need some junk food or sweets once in awhile. I'm just a teenager, you know? Not to say that I'm eating as much as I used to, but I need it sometimes. I actually haven't been hungry, though, because on this program, you eat a lot. You just eat a lot of healthy energy-boosting stuff. I could've never gotten through that workout without my meals. Tony Horton even says in the middle of it "I hope you've eaten enough today! Because, if you haven't, you're not getting through this! If you haven't, go get some food and come back later!"
That's one of the things I love about this program. It's not telling you to eat nothing and exercise a lot. That's impossible. Maybe it'll work for a week, but in the long run, it just makes you tired. Anyway, today's my sister-in-law's bday and we're going out to eat. So that'll be fun. But for now, I want to check up with everyone's blogs!

The Word of Your Body

Today was a better day. Not much, but still better. Upon coming home, I again opted for working out instead of stuffing my face and am very proud but I'm very tired, so I'm not going to post much. Here's the food intake:

Morning- Sandwich and granola bar and coffee

Snack- Fruit bowl and piece of turkey sandwich

Lunch- Brown rice w/ turkey sausage and a bag of chips and a cappuccino.

Dinner- Hasn't happened yet. That's what I'm about to do.

20 mins. of Jillian Michaels 30Day Shred. Oy. It feels like 20 hours, lol.

Bitchassness

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
There's really only so much disappointment one human being can take. And between men, friends, and college, I've really had enough.
Yet another wait-list. So after four years of being the "smart girl" I'm still not worth a damn.
I'm going to go work out, because if I don't, I'm just going to eat my feelings and that is the last thing I need.

Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt

So, basically, FML [Fuck My Life]
Today was such an awful day that I couldn't even go to rehearsal. And for me, that it is bad.

So, I wake up in the morning. Late. Fine. It's happened before. Get out of the house without eating. I realize I forgot my cell phone and my wallet. I tell my mom, who's in the car with me and I get yelled at because when I was younger, I forgot it all the time. But I haven't done it even once this year until now. Okay, fine. Whatevs. So she gives me seven dollars, yells at me some more and I walk into school. I don't have my ID card, because of lack of wallet and I have to get a temporary. Which takes forever.
I walk in and my first teacher decides it's asshole day and yells at me for being late. Then, I go downstairs and go to film class, which was the ONLY good part of my day. Then, I went to Pilates. Which could've been great. Except I forgot my friend's towel downstairs. So after going from the 2nd floor, across the school to the 1st floor and then to the 4th floor, I have to go back down to the 1st floor and then back up to the 4th floor. Then my teacher marks me late. FML. By then, I'm really tired and pilates just hurts more than anything.
Then, I go to AP Russian and I don't even have any free time. There, she confronts me about wanting to drop the class next cycle and tells me that if I want to, I have to go to the principal. Guilt trip ensues and now I have to be in school until 11:25 everyday next cycle. Boo. Then, I go downstairs and I'm almost crying by now because I am so upset at everything. And I see my friend and she tells me "I have no sympathy, because of what I've been going through." She got herself into trouble and cried for a week. And who was there to help her? Yours truly. But she has no sympathy for me. Well, gee, thanks. So I talked to my director and I went home. I walked 25 NYC blocks and now I'm here, feeling a little bit better and getting a recipe for tonight's food.
Bad, bad day. I also had iced coffee and chicken tenders. Not the best. But I didn't have a choice. I had no money and there was nothing really at home. But I did walk 25 blocks and do pilates. And I'll do Tae-bo a little later.
Thank you for reading my rant. You're wonderful.

She's Only Happy In the Sun

Hey all! Sorry I didn't write yesterday. I was pooped. So today was pretty bleh. I got to wake up a little later than usual and was late to school, so I didn't even have time to get breakfast. And what did I have to get at school? A small bag of cookies and animal crackers. Bad. Bad, bad, bad. Not because of the cal. intake, because it's as much as my cereal and milk. But because it doesn't fill me up and it's anything but nutritious. At least the cereal has raisins and is made of granola bits. Anyway, it happens. What am I gonna do about it now? No Pilates today, but I walked for a long, long time through the Metropolitan Museum of Art and through Central Park. That was really nice. Lots of fresh air. But there was no sun. Only clouds. And that brought me down a little.
Then, I came back and went to rehearsal. I had some coffee and then I had a whole wheat bagel with the works. That has to stop happening, even if it is whole wheat, but I don't know what to do about it. So, then I went home. And I heated up some dinner. But then I went to exercise while I was heating it up and I did this weird little workout on Free on Demand that says 'Look Good in a Bikini' and it was INTENSE. It's by some woman that works at Self magazine and it seriously hurt. My arms are still shaking. Now, I have no energy to eat. Just do homework and go to sleep by nine or nine thirty. ASAP, I want sleep.
I accomplished a couple of things that I liked today. First of all, I didn't have the bag of chips that I usually do with my lunch. My friend was eating pizza right in front of me and I didn't even ask for a piece. Which usually happens, because we all share everything.
Also, funniest thing happened. At rehearsal, I fell asleep for about twenty minutes during a read-through and missed a line. But the second someone woke me up, I said my line right away. So I practically do know the script in my sleep, lol.

Happy Purim!

So, today wasn't a bad day. In the morning, I ate a serving of cereal. Then, I ate a small turkey roll and then I ate a Whole Wheat Bagel with turkey tomato mayo mozarella cheese. That was good. I'm glad I've discovered whole wheat. I also ate a small bag of chips -- 150 cals. Not so bad. Then I ate a small cupcake for my friend's birthday. Not the greatest thing ever. But I'll deal by using Tae-Bo videos. Whohoo!

At the risk of sounding like an alcoholic, I'm going to say that my dad poured me an entire glass of wine at dinner tonight. However, it is a Jewish holiday and according to my dad, and I quote: "On Purim, you're supposed to get shitfaced." Nice holiday, lol.

So, yeah. I'm going to do Tae-Bo in a little while and I'm also going to purchase those P090 DVD's that my mom wants and I'm also going to get the firming videos. Possibly will purchase the Jillian 30-day work out thing. See how that works out.

Plans

So, my show is over on April 5th, which means I'll have more time. Here are the goals that I have really quickly:

-Get hours @ work for the weekdays.
-Learn to drive.
-Join Weight Watchers [yay!]
-Do more work-out videos.

Btw, question. Has anyone ever heard of the Extreme Body Workout PX09 thing? It's, like, a bunch of workout DVDs, and is apparently intense. If you've heard of it or especially if you used it, let me know!

Oh, rest of the food intake. I ate a piece of meat with whole wheat bread and then I made myself an amazing dinner for tomorrow. It's this garlic whole wheat pasta (I didn't even know they had that!) with chicken and broccoli. I had a taste. So great. Can't wait for dinner tomorrow. And I still have some brown rice left, which I will probably eat for lunch.

Slight Digression .. But I'm Back on Track

So, last night wasn't too awful, actually. I ate the tiniest piece of cake ever and had Raspberry Absolut mixed with Diet Coke. Which was not awful. Could've been better. And I really shouldn't drink anyway.
Today, however, was not a good day. I wasn't feeling well in the morning, most likely because I drank some and I woke up kind of late for work because of the time change. So no breakfast at home. I had to resort to Mac and Cheese at work. Then I ate a bag of pretzels and a slice of pizza for lunch. That I am not at all proud of. Upon coming home, I ate one of these sweet things that my mom brought home for Purim (it's a Jewish holiday and you're supposed to eat this cute little cookie; cute, of course, until it makes you fat).
But I went upstairs, readjusted my priorities and am now successfully back on track. I'm going to go out right now and buy some good, healthy food so that I can be good the rest of the week. And I'm also going to go on the treadmill for forty five minutes. This used to be my problem. I'd get off track and then I'd just stop. But I'm just not going to let that happen anymore.
In good news, I was on my feet, constantly moving all day. That and I got on the scale this morning. 215 pounds. That's two less than Monday. Yay! Here's to losing more than 2 pounds next week.
Thank you all for your great advice. And I wish I would've read one of your posts earlier, because then I probably would've had less of a crappy eating day today. Hangover=Bad. But, what's done is done. No going back. Now I'll just have to make up for it.

Hey!
So, yesterday totally wasn't as bad as I expected it to be. My friend's mom is wonderful and she made salad and she also cut the pizza slices in half. Super smart. And I didn't eat a lot during the day, so that was good. So, here's the intake.

Breakfast- Bowl of cereal & coffee.

Snacks- Mini rice cakes.

Lunch- Bag of chips. Boo. But it wasn't that bad, I guess. It was less than an entire meal would've cost me and it filled me up.

Dinner- Not as bad as it could've been. Half a slice of pizza, small piece of lasagna, some avocado and greens salad, and a small piece of ice cream cake. Tonight, I'm going to another birthday party. That has no eating, but possibly a lot of drinking. And I heard that beer and other alcohol has, like, a million calories. Is that true?

Anyway, this morning (like I said, my friend's mom is amazing), I had a couple of whole wheat pancakes with strawberries and blueberries. So I don't feel guilty at all.

This weekend, I have work and so much homework, and all these parties. Bahhh! Craziness. I'll probably update before I leave for the party. And thanks to everyone, for all your wonderful supportive comments. Weigh-in tomorrow! [insert scary music here]

A Little Doubt Goes A Long Way

So, I didn't post yesterday, mostly because I was dead tired and I didn't have the greatest day. For some reason, probably because I didn't get much sleep, I was REALLY hungry all day. I even got cranky at some point during rehearsal and people started asking me if it was okay. I explained to one girl that because I'm eating less and exercising, I'm really tired, along with homework and college apps and everything. So, basically, I was just cranky. So when I came home, I didn't binge, but I ate more than Tuesday or Wednesday. So here's that.

Breakfast: Bowl of cereal (1 serving), Coffee.

Lunch: Roll with Turkey, Tomato, Lettuce, Mozarella Cheese, and Mayo. Not the best thing EVER, but my choices are very limited when I'm in school. I also had a bowl of grapes.

Dinner: Red rice with beans again. Did not have the energy to stand up and cook something. But then, I had a cup of yogurt with bits of strawberries and cereal. Then later, I had a bowl of strawberries and this little thing of cottage cheese wrapped in thin dough.

I did pilates in the morning. Still painful, but getting better. I'm lucky I have pilates in school, right? Anyway, then I went on the treadmill and burned 203 calories, but I didn't run as long as I usually do, only because I was really tired.
So, the lesson I think that was learned from yesterday is that I can't expect to exercise and eat less while barely sleeping at night. It just won't happen. So today I stayed home and I just woke up at 11:30. Caught up on my sleep. Haven't eaten yet. Gonna go after this post.

So, that's that. Today, is my friend's birthday party and I'm sleeping over. There will be a lot of food there. And no treadmill or pilates. Not good. At all. I'm going to have to eat very small portions. We're most likely eating pizza. So I guess I'll eat half a slice? I don't know. We'll see what happens.

Thank you so much to everyone who commented and gave me advice! I think I've got my question figured out. Exercise any time can't hurt. Eating a lot before bed not good. Eating a little, depends on how you're feeling.

Upping the Self-Restraint

Hey Everyone!
So, I need to stop fundraising. First the bakesale, and now I'm walking around all day with a candy box full of candy bars. Great. However, I cheated a little when I was at the bakesale yesterday. With the candy box, I didn't cheat. And it was in front of me for almost twelve hours today. So, yeah. Exciting stuff. No cheating whatsoever. I was proud of that.
Other than that, I didn't do pilates because we don't meet on Wednesdays, but I ran on the treadmill for a half hour and burned 203 calories, which is more than yesterday. I also did four minutes of running instead of three and a half like yesterday. So that was a really nice feeling.

Morning: Tortilla w/ cheese. Coffee with milk.

Lunch: 2 rolls of sushi [not the best thing ever, but I didn't have much of a choice] and edamame and coffee.

Dinner: Made Red Rice w/ Beans from Roni's LiteBite Recipes. Really good. Had one serving.

I may or may not have yogurt in less than an hour. Just plain with Splenda.

So, if anyone reads this, I would totally appreciate if you would answer my question from yesterday! Thank you so much in advance and happy blogging!

Getting Stronger...But I'm Not There Yet.

Hey all! So, today was an overall good day. There's still a bunch of snow on the ground, so I planned on going for a morning run on my treadmill and skip the outside. Unfortunately, those plans got ruined, because I woke up a half hour late. I forgot to turn my phone off vibrate and onto ringer, so that's that. Still got on the treadmill today. But it isn't quite enough. Hopefully tomorrow nothing of that sort goes wrong.
So, eating was pretty good today except I ran a bake sale for the Make a Wish Foundation and was told I could help myself. Booooo. Why would you say that to me? I ended up eating 2 cookies, a small piece of pita with hummus, some pasta and two small dumplings. It's not a HUGE overload because I went right back to the diet after that, but it is a digression. I controlled myself more than I would prior to the diet, but it's not enough. Hence I'm not there yet.
I did about thirty minutes of Pilates today. My teacher is working me really hard. Not a minute of rest. Ouch.
So, here's the food intake to get it over with.

Breakfast: One serving of Low Fat Granola w/ Raisins Cereal + Coffee with Milk & Splenda.

Snack: Fruit Bowl [Strawberries, melon, pineapple]

Unnecessary Bake Sale Crap: Pasta, two cookies, two dumplings, piece of pita with hummus. This part was bad, but I'm working on eliminating it.

Lunch: Salad with cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce, croutons, avocado, corn and oil and lemon dressing. That was pretty good and very filling.

Snack: Two servings of mini rice cakes. Again, needs to be cut down. But I'll be okay. Also had more coffee because I was dead tired.

Dinner: Here's the good part. I made some food off of Roni's LiteBite website. SO GOOD. I made the Zucchini Pizza Bites and the Tortilla Pizza, both of which I shared with my dad and it was great. I felt accomplished for making dinner, but I didn't feel like I'd eaten too much.

Exercise: 30 minutes pilates, 30 minutes treadmill. I ran for 3 and a half minutes at a time, which is an upgrade from the last time I got on the treadmill. I'm hoping to up my stamina and be able to run a whole five minutes by next week. And ten by the end of the month. We'll see how that works for me.

This is all great, but it left little to no time for me to do homework. In fact, I haven't done any, so I'll have to do it in school. Must...Learn...To...Time...Manage. I know. It's a scary concept.

Now, I have a question.

There's a whole debate going on in my house and I'm wondering if anyone could tell me a good answer. My dad said it's good to eat before you go to bed, because of some kind of kidney blood whatever something. And my mom says it's bad because you don't end up digesting it and it just floats around. My mom also says that you shouldn't exercise after seven because your body doesn't register the work-out. My dad says that's bs. Anybody have an answer???

The Before Shots

I post way too much and do homework way too little. But I guess that's what happens when you're a second semester senior with a 3.9 GPA. Here go the pictures of now. Hopefully, in fifteen pounds, there will be some kind of change. I have cut my face off, mostly because I have a lot of friends, but high school kids can be brutal. No point in risking it.

Early Morning Happies

This is really rare. I am ridiculously happy and it's not even 11AM. That's because ..... SCHOOLS ARE CLOSED IN NYC....for the first time since January 2004. So, basically, I'm going to burn quite a few calories shoveling snow, huh.. I'm also going to go on the treadmill and do my entire pilates routine. Above that, I'm probably going to play with my dog in the snow, possibly do some other work outs. Not sure yet. Right now, I woke up half an hour ago and my stomach feels totally empty. So I'm going to go get some food in my system. I'll be back to tell you what I eat.

Actually, I'm not done yet. I guess since this is a blog, feelings still apply too, right? Well, one of my very close friends has lied to me and my best friend about something extremely serious. No, it's not "I didn't make out with him!" when she really did. It's a matter far more serious than that. And I just can't believe that she would lie like that. And because I'm questioning her, she keeps making up more lies and she's just digging herself in a hole that I'm not sure she can climb her way out of. Basically, this whole thing makes me feel veyr hurt and disappointed. And last night (I realized this as I was doing), just when I was talking to my best friend about it and complaining about being put in this position, I went straight for the fridge and grabbed a yogurt and some cheese. So there's a reason that I overeat. I get hurt, I eat. Pretty simple, actually.


Breakfast: Omelette with cheese & black pepper and plain yogurt with Splenda.

Snacks: A couple of croutons.

I'm about to get down with some pilates right now. And then I'm eating steamed chicken with broccoli and brown rice and wonton soup. Which is about as healthy as it gets, I think, with Chinese food. And then it's treadmill time.

Dinner: Small Wonton Soup with those little crispy things, Small Chicken (no broccoli, sadly), Small Brown Rice. Coffee with Splenda, milk, and some Cool Whip.

Overall, a pretty good day, I'd say. I might have some plain yogurt with Splenda as a snack before school. Or maybe I'll have some fruit instead. We'll see how I feel later. I may also go on the treadmill. Tomorrow, I'll be getting back to the schedule I've decided on, because I'm actually going to school.

Day One...Well, night.

216.8
That's how many pounds I weigh right now. This is the absolute highest that I have ever gotten to and I want it to remain that way. I never want to be more than 216.8 pounds. Ever. Sure, it's after eating and drinking all day, blah, blah, blah. 216.8 pounds is not a good weight to be before or after eating. So there.

Many think I'm immature. I'm only seventeen and I want to make a huge life change. This usually only happens when someone is in their mid to late twenties. But I want to make a change. My mom always told me I was going on fifty and it's time to prove her right. I don't look 216.8 pounds. But I do look overweight. And I don't really care about impressing people, but looking in the mirror makes me unhappy. That should be enough to lose weight.

According to some website, my "happy weight" is 144 pounds. And that's now what I'm striving for. My diets always, always, always fail. But I'm determined. And not just for one day like I usually am. I must lose the weight. I'm tired of feeling insecure and thinking "I have a pretty face. I just wish I had a body to go with it," and being jealous of my friends, who are much skinnier than me. Yes. It will be hard. But if I stick with it, I'm sure I will succeed. I have to. So here's every single bit of food that I took in today. It's not good, but I'm hoping that writing it all down will scare me away from eating so much. And exercising more.

Breakfast: 100 Calorie Bar, Coffee with Splenda and Milk

Lunch: McChicken, Snack Wrap, Stole Some Fries from my Friend, Sprite.

Dinner: 2 Chicken legs, some potatoes with meat, Diet Iced Tea.

Unnecessary Crap: 3 Cookies, 1 Piece of Cake.

Good Stuff: A couple of strawberries, one orange.

So I guess that SUCKED. As for exercise, I suppose I walked a lot. But that was a lot. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. For now, I'll take a survey thing that I found on someone else's blog.

Wait. I lied. One more thing I have to say as an intro. My blog name "Acting Skinny" has quite a few reasons behind it. First off, I'm an actor. And a lot of the time, I'll be writing about acting. That and I'm usually one of the fattest girls in my shows. And I hate it. Secondly, I act skinny. I eat whatever the hell I want sometimes and don't talk about losing weight. The name reminds me that I can't just ignore the problem. The third and last reason is that I think that every single person needs to love themselves. And to me, loving myself means losing weight. I don't want to be anorexic, but having a good body would make me love myself significantly more. I can't have that right away, so I need an alternative. So for now, I'm pretending to be skinny and using this blog to love myself. I hope that makes sense. Now here's the survey thing.

1. What types of food are you most likely to overeat?
Well, there's a lot of food. First of all, whenever there is cake and cookies in my house (not often), I eat A LOT. Mostly because it's so rare that I'm allowed any sweets at home. Just proves that keeping something away makes it seems interesting. That and anything that is really easy. Anything that I can just heat and eat. Heat & Eat sounds cute. But it's not.

2. What times of day do you overeat most often?
Fuck. Every time of day. Mostly when I'm being an insomniac, I guess. And when I'm in school.

3. What feelings are you having most often when you overeat?
I feel satisfied. I feel like I've satisfied an extreme craving and I feel calm. But now that I think about it, there has to be something more than food that can make me feel satisfied.

4. Do you think you have a binge eating disorder?
Sometimes. Once in awhile, I walk downstairs (and count it as exercise to ease my guilt) and eat my entire kitchen. Like everything. It's bad.

5. What circumstances in your life do you believe contributed to your weight gain?
I've had a lot of crappy things happen to me and I did not now how to deal with them. Which is nobody's fault really. That and I'm very, very busy. Which is my fault. But I'm not going to give up my life for dieting. In that case, there's no point in dieting.

6. Do you 'blame' anyone for your weight?
Sometimes I like to blame my parents. But all in all, I know it's not their fault.

7. What other behaviors mademake you overweight?
I am freakin' lazy. I like to swim and run but it depends on what day you ask me. Also, I'm kind of a quitter. I say I'm going to start a routine or something and I give up like it's nobody's business. All the time. Hopefully, that doesn't stop me this time.

8. Were you active or exercising while you gained weight?
Active, yes. Exercising, no. Not at all, really.

9. What made you finally want to change?
I've always wanted to change. I'm not happy with myself and I should be. That's all it is. I'm just realizing that my happiness is far more important than a piece of cake.

Toodles, everyone. I'm going to try and get a lot of sleep tonight. Apparently, that helps.