Thursday, June 25, 2009

Starting Now, I'm Back.

It's so hard to even type this right now, because I am so incredibly disappointed in myself. I did so well today. And then I went out with a friend and ruined everything with ice cream and chips. I don't understand. Even as I'm eating, I know it's bad. And it still happens. And I'm on the verge of tears, because I just did something that gave me a slap in the face.
I looked at recent pictures of myself. From prom, graduation and other things. And I hate the way I look. I thought I was doing better in the self-confidence department but I am just not. I still hate the way I look and seeing those pictures and how fat I still am completely broke my heart.
I'm just so sad right now. And I'm crying. And I know that by exercising and eating well, I can fix this problem. But I just don't know if I can believe in myself anymore as much as I used to.
Thank you for all your inspiring comments. I really appreciate it.
I'm just in a slump. And I know I'm in a slump. So I can either stay here and feel sorry for myself and cry like I'm doing now or I can get up and push myself even though it's so so so so so hard right now. I just have to push through it. I feel like if I can get through these next couple of weeks without gaining any weight then I can get through anything. Because this is close to impossible.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

I Need You Guys.

Oy. So, I know. I'm an awful person for not posting and it's not fair for me to ask, but I really need motivation.
I haven't been doing well and that's probably why I haven't been posting. I mean, who wants to show everyone that they're not doing well? Not me. But I'm reaching out here.
I've been constantly hungry and I haven't been counting points and I've barely exercised. I'm feeling a little lost and I can't help but wonder where the hell my old motivation and energy is.
I don't think I've gained, but I'm getting there. So please help. Say anything. It might help me out.