Thursday, June 25, 2009

Starting Now, I'm Back.

It's so hard to even type this right now, because I am so incredibly disappointed in myself. I did so well today. And then I went out with a friend and ruined everything with ice cream and chips. I don't understand. Even as I'm eating, I know it's bad. And it still happens. And I'm on the verge of tears, because I just did something that gave me a slap in the face.
I looked at recent pictures of myself. From prom, graduation and other things. And I hate the way I look. I thought I was doing better in the self-confidence department but I am just not. I still hate the way I look and seeing those pictures and how fat I still am completely broke my heart.
I'm just so sad right now. And I'm crying. And I know that by exercising and eating well, I can fix this problem. But I just don't know if I can believe in myself anymore as much as I used to.
Thank you for all your inspiring comments. I really appreciate it.
I'm just in a slump. And I know I'm in a slump. So I can either stay here and feel sorry for myself and cry like I'm doing now or I can get up and push myself even though it's so so so so so hard right now. I just have to push through it. I feel like if I can get through these next couple of weeks without gaining any weight then I can get through anything. Because this is close to impossible.


Monica said...

Im obsessed with that site...go read my blog...3 pounds a week...just do it! :)

And guess what? Its ok to be imperfect! I always love how honest you are and I wish I could have been more like you when I was in high school...youre doing great. Youll have set backs, you just have to learn to not let them set you waaaay back.

Love ya girlie!

Rene' said...

don't beat yourself up! I am sad that you are crying. It is a shame that we put so much focus on our looks in our society instead of what is on the inside. Take it one day at at time. If you eat ice cream-maybe just don't finish it next time-get up and toss the cone in the trash half way through. It will take effort to do, but if u are already aware of the poor choice as u are eating it, then all u have to do is stand up and walk. U can do it. If you are looking for someone to help u in your walk towards you goal, a good friend of mine is a beachbody coach. you can check her out at hhtp://
u can also see her blog at hhtp://
SHe is very motivating and has made a lot of progress herself over the years. Check it out if u want. Either way, keep you head up high. YOU are on this journey. No ONE else. Don't worry about what other people are thinking. Make the right choices for you. P.S. eating a few plain almonds very slowly takes the edge off hunger sometimes.

Jenn said...

You know, one meal is not going to break you. You have to remember it is JUST food. It is not a reflection on how "good" or "bad" you are. So, you had some high cal food? So just have a low cal meal for your next meal. Try to have one good day - just one. Once you have one good day, try for two, and so on...
Just don't give up, because you only fail when you stop trying.
You can do it!!!