It's so hard to even type this right now, because I am so incredibly disappointed in myself. I did so well today. And then I went out with a friend and ruined everything with ice cream and chips. I don't understand. Even as I'm eating, I know it's bad. And it still happens. And I'm on the verge of tears, because I just did something that gave me a slap in the face.
I looked at recent pictures of myself. From prom, graduation and other things. And I hate the way I look. I thought I was doing better in the self-confidence department but I am just not. I still hate the way I look and seeing those pictures and how fat I still am completely broke my heart.
I'm just so sad right now. And I'm crying. And I know that by exercising and eating well, I can fix this problem. But I just don't know if I can believe in myself anymore as much as I used to.
Thank you for all your inspiring comments. I really appreciate it.
I'm just in a slump. And I know I'm in a slump. So I can either stay here and feel sorry for myself and cry like I'm doing now or I can get up and push myself even though it's so so so so so hard right now. I just have to push through it. I feel like if I can get through these next couple of weeks without gaining any weight then I can get through anything. Because this is close to impossible.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Posted by Rachel [Acting Skinny] at 8:21 PM