Friday, May 1, 2009

Time to Work Harder.

I've been working hard lately. I walked 60 blocks earlier this week and I just want to walk more and more and more. On Tuesday, I got on the scale at my WW meeting and lost 4.6 pounds. I am out of the 220's and I will NEVER go back again. No matter what. I will never be at 220 pounds in my life.
Watching The Biggest Loser (I cried like a baby seven times) today, I just got even more motivated. These people lose nine pounds a week. Yes, obviously, they sweat and bleed and cry and they have all day to work out. But if they can lose nine, I can lose another five. I won't be disappointed next Tuesday as long as I lose something. Anything. More than two pounds would be good.
I got my prom dress. Very happy about it. Haven't taken pictures yet, but when I do, they'll be up here.
Um, so on the topic of biggest loser, I think I have a crush on Mike. Lmao. But really. He's great. And when I saw him in that jacket, daaaaamn. That's probably why I want him to win, haha. And the way he helps his dad, it was just adorable. Okay. I'm stopping. I'm sorry. Anyway, if not for him, I want Tara to win. She is gorgeous. When they were showing the before and after videos and pictures, I was bawling. Because they all said they didn't realize how fat they were and I feel like that's me. I feel like I know I'm fat but until I lose all the weight, I won't know just how fat I am right now. It sounds confusing, but I think it's because I have nothing to compare to. I guess when I look at pictures from fifth grade, I'm just like "Wow. I was so skinny." But I convince myself that hormones did it. And partially, they did. But there will be no excuse when I take all this weight off.
I'm tired of not being able to wear the cutest clothes. I'm tired of being embarrassed to eat in public. I'm tired of being embarrassed to go shopping with my own friends. And I am hella tired of going to a party and wondering if I'm going to be the fattest person in the room. I am tired, tired, tired. And once all this weight comes off, I will never be in that place again. Ever. It just won't happen. It can't.

2 comments:

Jade said...

WTG on your weigh-in! That's awesome!

I'd like Tara to win first, then Mike. I hope BL does a follow up with his brother next season so we can see how he does!

Monica said...

Hi :)

I love this post! And Mike is hot, so I dont blame you and your crush lol. Congrats on the loss and I know youll reach your goal!