wtf

So today I was invited to go to the beach with a whole bunch of people. Guess what I said? I said no. Well, that's a lie. I said I'd see if I could and then I made up a stupid excuse. One might ask "Why?" and I might say because I don't like going to the beach because that means my pretty friends in bikinis and me in skinny jeans and a t-shirt. That's why. I don't even go to the pool at work.
But I've decided I'm actually going to get in that pool the next time the kids have swim. I'm also going to look up exercises that I can subtly do in the pool, lol. That should turn out interesting.
In other news, I went to Outback yesterday and had a slightly healthier option than I could've had. I had a 680-calorie chicken and swiss cheese sandwich. But I finished my fries. Which wasn't good. But whatever. It could've been so much worse.
I need a really good workout, but I don't think it's going to happen today. It might happen today, but a little bit later. Because there's too many people in the house and I prefer to exercise alone. I swear, it's like I'm trying to hide away the fact that I'm fat. Newsflash, Rachel! Everyone already knows.
Jeez, I frustrate myself with that stuff. What is the point of not going in the pool or to the beach? Are people going to be shocked at the fact that I'm not taking all my clothing off and sitting in a bikini? Obviously not. Is everyone going to judge me? A couple of people might. But the majority of people already know I'm fat. Seeing me in a bathing suit and shorts isn't going to change that in any way. Grr. I need to get over myself with this crap.